I hadn’t kept in touch with Dave since rowing together at Queen’s in the early 80′s; yet I can still hear his infectious laugh, and see his smile that stretched from ear to ear. Dave’s wonderful zest for life will be sorely missed by, and perhaps provide comfort to, all those whose lives he touched. My deepest sympathy, Paul.

You are in my heart Jill. I was so sad to hear of David’s illness and his passing.

David was such a tremendous light in my life and the life of my children when they attended West Mont School. Later, when I returned as a teaching assistant, David offered so much hope and inspiration. He would often leave small notes of gratitude for me and would regularly check in to see that the children I was working with were flourishing. I learned so much from him about leadership, about cherishing each and every child as they were in that very moment, and about the value of gratitude. Although I left the teaching profession, I always held a flicker of hope that I might return one day, if only I could work under as fantastic a leader as David: he was quite simply the best person I have ever worked for. He was an exceptional person and his influence and gifts have rippled out far and wide into the community and world beyond.

With so much love to your family,
Colleen Stuckey

Eulogy In memory of David Graham.

Hello, my name is John Armitage.

I was Dave’s rowing coach at Queen’s and Kingston through the mid and late 80’s.

I have been asked to speak to the rowing side of Dave.

Dave recently told me that there were 3 significant influences on his life outside of his immediate family – camp, rowing and teaching.

On the Queen’s rowing team David was known as “Casey”. Casey was a smiley-faced, michevious red-haired puppet on Mr. Dressup who actually looked like Dave.

I invited some of those who rowed with Dave to share their memories with me.

All kept returning to “Dave the person” – not just Dave the rower

Here are their thoughts in their words.

Pranks – he had a gift – Devious but never hurtful. Nothing too elaborate and always timely when the right opportunity presented itself. Total and believable feigned innocence on his part and usually enough planning to not be immediately implicated ( or to have somebody else implicated in his place.) His students in his teaching years never had a chance. There was nothing they could pull that Dave hadn’t already thought about and probably done a few times. The end result was always positive, and cemented team relationships.

…after the Head of the Charles regatta we were going to get our picture taken. Because we had done so poorly (we collided with 2 boats), Dave thought for the picture we should at least make a good impression. It was therefore his idea that we stick rolls of socks in our shorts to make up for the lack of medals on our chests!

… – the permanent smile, the red hair, and the twinkle in his eye – features that made him stand out long before he spoke. Features that made you think “there’s a guy I want to meet” and “there’s a guy I could be friends with”.

… it didn’t matter who you were, or how badly you felt, it didn’t matter what you were doing, or how badly you were doing it, Dave made things better. I have never met anyone so universally loved, I don’t know how he did it, I am not like that, but I am a better person for knowing him. … I suppose you could tell anyone that might be interested that he is one of the reasons I have kept on as a coach.

Ice cream – He was the master. I never saw him miss an opportunity to stop for an ice-cream after a hard training session. He introduced me to Oreo cookie blizzards and various parfaits and he knew exactly what to order. He knew all the Dairy Queens, Baskin Robbins, White Mountains and Kawartha Dairy outlets from Kingston to Muskoka to Toronto and St Catharines. … Going for a “few quarts” was not a drinking outing – it was dairy bar time. It was also an extension of his personality. He always had it with company and he knew that sharing an ice cream outing was a great way to make friends.

But aside from his capability to ‘move a boat’, it was Dave’s personality and attitude that were his greatest assets. These gifts had an immeasurable impact on the development and success of the crew and the Queens team as a whole. Dave added the right combination of humour, humility, and a strong work ethic that was a positive influence on his crewmates, and made the Queen’s rowing experience so much better. Rowing with Dave not only made you a better rower, but more importantly, a better person.

I remember talking with Dave about UCC. I remarked on how many successful families had come from UCC. Dave’s reply was simple…”It depends on how you define success”

I would like to conclude with a poem. I hope you like it.

The Winds Are Now Gone

David rowed his life in a tail wind,
and many a race he did win.
At the boathouse he met Jill, soon to be his wife,
sharing a joyful and wonderful life.

Through the years in a tail wind,
David did row his shell.
As husband, father and educator,
all the time living, loving and teaching as well.

Then in the spring of last year,
the doctors delivered a sentence we all fear.
For in a number of months,
David would no longer be here.

The tail wind would be gone.
He would be rowing into a gale force wind, head on.

David did not regret,
into the wind he continued to pull.
Determined to live his remaining days,
with Jill, Patrick, Christopher and Cameron in full.

Friends, family and students,
took on a new meaning in life.
As did time with sons and wife.

Dave did not want us to cry,
just because he was going to die.

With laughter and smiles,
into the headwind he rowed his final miles.
Defying the odds, some sixteen months later,
David came to the end of this race,
He now awaits us in a better place.

The winds are now gone.
The pain is no more.
The waters are calm.

We love you David. May you now rest in peace.